Mommy Mommy Jokes 4: Insulting and offensive funny Mommy Mommy jokes...

Mommy Mommy Jokes Page: 1 2 3 4 5

Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon!
Shut up and close the coffin!

Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?
Shut up and get back in the barrel!

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder!
Shut up and eat your hamburger!

Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on this golf course?
Shut up and search the sand traps!

Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers!
Shut up and eat your French fries!

Mommy, Mommy! How do lions make love?
I don't know dear, all your father's friends are Rotarians...

Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Shut up and lick.

Mommy, Mommy! What's oral sex?
mmmrmmph mumble mumble mmhhh mmrph mmumble!

Mommy, Mommy! I had just my first sexual experience. And it was the
guy's first time too. His dick was still in the rubber.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy bent over and crying?
Shut up and eat your hot dog!

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy just poisoned my kitten!
Never mind dear. Perhaps he had to do it.
No he didn't, he promised me I could!

Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.

Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimy?
Shut up, you little snot.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like Sis!
Shut up, and keep eating!

Mommy, Mommy! I'd like to play marbles now!
Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glass eye today!

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like the crunchy stuff in my pea soup!
Keep quiet and eat what is on the table or do you think I pour Grandpa's vomit
through a sieve?

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Shut up, Albert....

Mommy, Mommy! Sally won't come skipping with me.
Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a big head?
Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?
You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.