Short Jokes About Men 1: Insulting and offensive funny men jokes...

Short Jokes About Men Page: 1 2 3 4 5

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. 

How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get the remote. 

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals" 

Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, then it's our job to stomp them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we would hopefully like to have dinner with. 

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One ... men will screw anything. 

What's the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. 

How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. 

What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! 

What's the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need ... A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. 

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose 

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner. 

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?
Because they don't have balls to scratch. 

What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging. 

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing. 

What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature. 

What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up. 

How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares? 

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
No one knows ... it's never been done. 

How are men and parking spaces alike? 
The good ones are already taken, and the ones left are handicapped. 

What is a man's idea of helping you with housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.