Little Johnny Jokes 7: Insulting and offensive little Johnny jokes...

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Little Johnny walked into the doctor's office for an appointment. "Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty blonde receptionist asked. "I'll need the information for the doctor."

"It's rather embarrassing," Little Johnny stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."

"Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in." 



Three boys are discussing women. "I like to look at a woman's breasts the most," the first boy says. The second says, "I like to look at a woman's butt." He asks Little Johnny, "What about you?"

"Me? I really enjoy seeing the top of her head." 



At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the class, and she discovered Little Johnny with a cat underneath his desk. She said, "Why do you have your cat at school?" The little boy started crying, "When I woke up this morning I heard the mailman tell my Mommy, 'I'm gonna eat your pussy today!' " 



Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200," the teacher began, "and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?"

"An orgy," Johnny answered. 



Little Johnny had an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of his left foot. His girlfriend called her mother from the hospital. "Mom," she sobbed, "my boyfriend has only one foot." The mother, trying to console her daughter said, "That's all right dear, your father has only six inches." 



One day Little Johnny was in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate "Whatcha doin?" he asks. Little Johnny replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him."

"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. Little Johnny shouts back, "That's because he's inside your fucking cat!" 



Little Johnny's in a checkout line standing right behind a man who's purchasing toilet paper, soap, a toothbrush, a TV dinner, a can of soda and a bag of chips. Little Johnny asks the man, "Are you single?"

"Yeah," the man replied in a real sarcastic tone, "how did you ever guess?" Little Johnny said, "Because you're ugly!" 



Little Johnny's Mom takes him to the doctor for an appointment. As she's checking in, the doctor says to her, "I'll need a urine sample." Little Johnny pipes up, "What does he want?" His Mom replies, "He wants you to leave your underpants here." 



Little Johnny gets a clerk's job at a department store. Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," Little Johnny smirked. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Little Johnny hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa Fester will pay the bill," she smiled. 



Little Johnny's friend stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Generally, he was driving his golf partner nuts. Finally an exasperated Little Johnny says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the ball!!!" The other boy answers, "My mom is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." Little Johnny ponders this for a moment and then replies, "Forget it dude, you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"