Little Johnny Jokes 12: Insulting and offensive little Johnny jokes...

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Johnny and his class mates had all been asked to bring something to school to show the class that would explain what their father did for a living. Everybody was impressed by Johnny's oxy-acetylene torch and face mask. After school Johnny waited outside the gates for his mother to collected him. A stranger approached.

"Hello" said the stranger, "You look like a nice boy, I'm supposed to take you home"

"OK" says Johnny and happily trots off with the strange fellow. Along the way the stranger asks "Have you ever heard the word penis?"

"No" replies Johnny.

"Have you ever heard the word masturbation?"

"No" replies Johnny.

"How about sodomy?"

"Look mister," says Johnny "I'm not a real welder" 



The visiting church school supervisor asks Little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows Little Johnny, as well as his whole family, very well and can vouch for him. If Little Johnny said that he did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth. Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story. After listening he replies: "I cannot see why you are making such a big issue out of this; we will get three quotations and fix the damned wall." 



Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face." Why do you do that, Mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" 



Little Johnny's mother asked him, "Why did you get such a low grade on that test?"

"Because of an absence," he replied. "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" she questioned. Little Johnny replied, "No, but the kid who sits next to me was." 



A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. "Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grownups don't really fuck, I've got nothing left to believe in!" 



Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked through her bags to see what she had purchased. In one package, Little Johnny found some panty hose and he began to sound out the words "Queen Size." He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our bed!"